HARD RESET
The world came to a sudden, devastating realization that it needed a hard reset, so what are we waiting for to go through with it?
I guess it comes with the territory of “going on a soul-searching journey” in a country which is not yours, but this past year has been characterized by a multitude fits and starts, personally and globally. Here’s also another mention of the current pandemic. It is inescapable but trying to avoid talking about the virus that brought the world to its knees, just won’t cut it to make it go away. In addition to the fact that my home country, Malta — that speck of three land masses you see beneath Sicily to the right of Tunisia — has once again gone into a month-long lockdown.
Personally, I just started another blog over on this platform. The one on the other platform was going well over a couple of months, but I let it go. When you’re struggling to make a living, writing a blog is definitely not on the top of anyone’s priorities. It shouldn’t be right now for me neither — I have yet to start editing two videos for next week — but hey, here I am! It’s OK though, I’ll forgive myself later for this oh-so-ignoble transgression.
If anything, however, on my own “soul-searching journey”, I find myself that writing is the way I make sense of the senseless world around me. I feel comfortable and good with words, while still on the way to becoming better and better. It also helps with my work in video to write scripts, marrying visuals and language. And once again I find myself at a juncture in my life to just stop whatever I am supposed to do and scribble down a few thoughts. It’s not just an exercise to vent out frustrations or complaints, but maybe, just maybe, bouncing off a few ideas around with readers might prove fruitful.
I’ve been — actually, I am down and out with close to nothing to my name at the moment. This was for me my hard reset — the hardest I might add. I’ve lived a comfortable life back in my country, I would say almost privileged with enough income and support to go by. Nevertheless, something kept gnawing inside of me that there must be more, that more can be done, and staying in Malta would just snuff me and my motivation out. My situation is still far from ideal. More than anything I’ve learned that I can be extremely resourceful, and what I’m trying to do is be selfish, just enough not to let my resourcefulness be exploited in any way. Mistakes were made, are being, will be made.
There are other take-aways from my experience thus far. Most definitely is that the world itself need a hard reset from its hyper-capitalistic tendencies. With inequality soaring and wage gaps widening, there must be a way that capitalism can become socially-conscious and targeted more towards the benefit of the community rather than the individual. Don’t take my word for it — listen to Prof Scott Galloway’s take on what’s become “crony capitalism”.
I’ve come to understand the importance of money and capital because of my lack of it, so I’ve re-engaged my ambition to become successful and wealthy to lead a comfortable enough but meaningful life myself, in order to provide other people meaningful lives. Because the security of having some sort of capital available reduces a considerable amount of stress and helps people focus more and make better decisions in the long run. However, I have thankfully become cognizant enough of the fact that I am luckier in certain aspects than others who have it worse off than me, and that when they have some sort of capital being given to them, not just in this extraordinary circumstances, but even when we’re back to “normalcy” — a normalcy that, as vaccines start rolling out, starts to smell like stagnant old same before the pandemic. Again don’t take my word for it, but listen to Dutch historian Rutger Bregman explain how poverty is not related to lack of character.
That is why, whenever I hear YouTubers, which I follow to gather inspiration from, whose work I still appreciate, dish out advice in earnest on how to monetize your passion, how to better handle one’s finances, I have started taking these advices with a healthy pinch of salt.
Despite the best of their intentions, at least from where I stand, their followers and the rest of the world need actionable help now more than ever, instead of words of advice and encouragement. To quote Scott Galloway again from a lecture at NYU Stern, he didn’t mince his words,
“Follow your passion” What utter bullshit! If someone tells you to “follow your passion” it means they’re already rich.
Which is why I found myself disconnected from their views of success, because they are speaking as already successful people. Not to put in doubt their intentions, but I identify with Casey Neistat’s struggle and hustle a lot when he speaks candidly about his journey. It’s not just him though, but what other YouTubers (and celebrities and stars and singers and influencers) seem not to realize, is that the world changed in the short span of ten years, that if back in the day people could survive with just one shitty job, today you’d need to have two or three, which means that those people aspiring to become creators in their own right, barely have any time to nurture, farm and invest in their talents and end up giving up.
The sacrifices successful people did 10, 20, 30 years, are not returning the same dividends in the world we live in today. The majority of younger generation, high school and/or university students, are quickly shoved under the cap of “irresponsible, lazy and ungrateful” because they have become averse of making sacrifices and taking risks. It’s an aversion that becomes justified when you take into consideration unemployment rates and jobs whose pay has become less reflective of a rising cost of living. It’s not that the younger generation doesn’t have motivation to become successful, it’s them realizing that their sacrifice might ultimately not provide this promised fulfilment, even more so when the level of education has become poorer and poorer.
More than anything, while capital is an essential currency to keep a business, a company, an economy running, we have to consider compassion as an even more valuable currency to invest in, especially moving forward if we’re ever to return to a normal lifestyle. The hardest lesson I’m still learning is to be compassionate to myself in order to empathize better with those around me. Being in a situation of relative disadvantage, helped me gain at least a better understanding and bigger reason for choosing empathy.
Yet it’s important that empathizing with others doesn’t mean letting others, and most importantly yourself, invalidate your feelings and emotions, but learning to acknowledge certain emotions in a healthy manner without resorting to using them. Let’s say you’re faced with a fuck up. I fuck up, you fuck up, everyone fucks up every now and again, and the most reassuring way to gain trust of colleagues is to establish a relationship where, despite the different levels of upset some fuck ups bring with them, the focus is reined in to find solutions rather than wasting time on anger and stressing out. And that’s why, good communication is key. Leadership is not berating others for their mistakes, but setting an example by taking responsibility of your own shortcomings and work to find solutions and learn together, not just by words, but by actions.
There will be times where even when taking the right way to communicate clearly, there won’t be any reciprocity. You’ll realize certain people are so set in their ways that they might not be as open to suggestion or discussion, despite strongly making it a point that they are. It’s tough to deal with, and feel like some sort of injustice when faced with individuals, especially in crucial positions within a company structure. Once again, it is actions that speak louder than words, and if these words are not being translated into affirmative action, it creates a culture of toxic positivity — where everything and everyone is always great every time, and issues are not addressing in a proper constructive manner — that it alienates people from taking responsibility, for fear of either being further berated or given the cold shoulder. And in that case, the only viable thing to do is letting go and move on, even if it means having yet to restart from scratch, as long as you find compassion and time in yourself.
My experience of being penniless taught me a lot. I had programmed myself by being unforgiving to myself, feeling ashamed — how does a man almost in his mid-30s still need his parents’ help? The answer is easy — we are still living through a situation that is beyond our control, so my path to financial independence and stability suddenly found itself blocked by this huge obstacle. So I learn to be less hard on myself, acknowledge and validate my emotions, while I still taking responsibility of any actions to the best of my capabilities and focus on better ways to handle problems.
Which is also how I’ve learned, both from myself and from others, to be resourceful and solution-oriented. You can stress yourself or other people out when there’s some fuck up, but it’ll never ever lead to solutions. It’s called being emotionally agile. Don’t take my word for it, listen to Susan David’s lecture below.
It is not a wild idea — someone called Dan Price did it with his own company. Maybe there are already companies out there following this model, but so far it is only Dan Price’s company, Gravity Payments, that still gets the mention. Even I can’t think of any other company who has followed suit, and if you do, please do comment and let me know about these.
